Blessing

I feel like shouting to everyone “I’m the MOST blessed person in the whole world.” But I won’t, because when someone is extremely blessed, it reminds most others of their trials and the reasons that they don’t feel blessed. We’ve had our share of trials, no doubt, and during the trials, it was hard to imagine any time of blessing. But the most difficult trial of my life is the reason that I now recognize my blessedness—the arrival of our precious daughter, Caroline, six days ago, is the inspiration for my joy. I could never have imagined or prepared myself for the heavenliness of her arrival. She is so perfect—I love the way her mouth moves when you stroke her cheek, and I love the way her eyes look when they are wide open and the way her face changes shape depending on whether she’s asleep or awake (chubby when asleep, slender when awake, by the way). I love the way we can soothe her when she is so troubled with gas or some other “baby trauma.” She makes me want to be a better person in all ways, most importantly in the way that I follow Christ and live out His will for my life. I feel undeserving of this amount of joy. My heart overflows with love for her and for my family and friends. My eyes overflow with tears (I know there are hormones involved, but….) at my blessing.

Labor

How to know if you’re in labor…… no wonder there are a million lists in every book and on all the pregnancy websites… it’s kinda tricky to know if it’s really “time.” So, it’s 1:08 am on December 6th and I’ve been timing contractions since about 9:30. I’ve been having them all day, but now they’re getting closer together and a little trickier to ignore. We’ve been praying that Caroline would show up without having to be induced—I think this is our answered prayer! We are so excited to meet her—that is an understatement. After 2.5 years of infertility and two miscarriages, we sometimes were scared to think that this day might never come. Praise the Lord for His mighty plans—our faith has grown throughout this journey and as difficult as the trial was for us, we know He used it to shape us and draw us closer to Him and each other.
Jeff and I have enjoyed our six years together as “just the two of us” so much. We are absolutely best friends and really can’t imagine life with kiddos. But I know that in just a few weeks or months, we’ll have a hard time picturing what life was like before Caroline came. Thankfully we have been able to travel together, enjoy movies and cooking at home, and dote on our precious dog to our heart’s content these past few years and we have lived the “before kids” part of our marriage to its fullest. Now we start the next chapter that will last the rest of our lives, Lord willing. We can’t wait to be parents and get to know our kiddos and watch them grow. We pray that their ministry greatly surpasses any ministry we have – that would be our greatest joy.
Just wanted to journal a few of these random thoughts as I sit here at my computer waiting to make a call to the doctor to go to the hospital. How surreal to think that my next night that I am home, we will have a precious daughter at home with us. Another contraction… 1:17 am. Seven minutes from the last one… it won’t be long now.