Acceptance

Acceptance... acceptance... I'm not good at it, it's not natural for me. I assume there's better, there's more I could be doing, there's something I'm missing. But my Father says "Be still and know that I am God"(Ps 46:10) and "if you ask for bread, would I give you a stone?" (Matt 7:9) He is good, He is aware of my circumstances, and when I'm seeking Him, He will lead me. I strive, I scurry, I google, I try try try to change where I am, but He has me here. The truth is He could miraculously heal me.... zap me with change.... but that's not usually His way....He calls me to a process of struggle, a walk of obedience, a deeper trust in Him. Zapping, snatching, quick fixes.... they are too easy, they don't produce the perseverence, character and hope that He wants for me. (Romans 5:3-4)
Where am I today? I am lots of places that aren't necessarily pleasant.... most easy to share is my struggle with chronic headaches. I've asked Him for healing, I've pursued many forms of treatment...all of them costly in both monetarily and emotionally. But I still have them. He is permitting them. If He wanted to heal me now, He would provide the way. I hope for a treatment or method to provide relief one day very soon... but I am accepting that His good for me right now is even better... instead of healing my pain today, He has it FOR me-- to learn from, to accept, to grow deeper in trust and knowledge of Him... to learn to let Him be my shepherd. I shall not want. I will accept this from His kind and good hand. For He is good in all things.